Waiting Room
by Jokerfest
Summary: Archy gets bored in the waiting room so he flips through the magazine and there's a quiz.  Is He the Perfect Match?  Archy raises a brow and hilarity ensues.  Archy/Johnny M/M Smut.


**Ha, yeah, I do like Archy and John, the clever bastards 3 Anyway, this is just a little smut, a little laugh and a lot of M. So be wary. I do not own any of the characters from RocknRolla. Guy Ritchie lays claim to the fabulousness of these two characters. Anyway, review, I might be so encouraged to write another if this one goes over well.**

**-Jokerfest**

Checking John into a rehab center should have been uneventful. He'd been perfectly content waiting, not caring one whit about anything in particular. The magazine he'd scooped up was out of want for something to do. The glossy pages of the magazine were perfectly generic, rules for the perfect date, a remarried pop singer, and of course sex tips, which were humorous at best. It was page fifty-six that had held him. The heading, what stopped him, was all of size eighteen font and a bright magenta color. Nothing much, at least until he'd actually read it. '_Is He Your Perfect Match'_ it had said teasingly. Archy raised a brow, and a teeny smirk, moved his lips before quickly dissolving.

_Is he attentive?_

Archy could scarcely hold back a scoff. How to answer that? Absolutely. Johnny was very attentive, to all and everything he could learn. He was attentive in the way a mongoose strikes at a cobra. He was attentive in a way that was endearing, the way he stood by his strange and stoic friend, Pete solid proof. What was really captivating was the _way _he paid attention, his slouching posture, his brown eyes narrowed and a lopsided smile. Or his eyes would be closed, legs splayed, arms raised to cradle behind his head. He loved catching him like that.

Archy continued.

_Is he comfortable with you?_

That could hardly be a more ridiculous question. Truth was, Archy wasn't sure. If possible he himself felt both on guard and at ease with Johnny. He could almost say the same applied to John. The rockstar had never doubted him, always commenting snidely on his unwavering loyalty. He supposed it was one of the reasons that John enjoyed pissing him off. The arrogant bastard could get away with it.

_Does he like showing you off?_

Archy sighed. Yes, and in ways that often led to trouble. His gun missing, only to be found in the principal's office. Archy cringed at both the memory of sitting through that lengthy lecture and the hefty bribe that came afterward. He'd been too ashamed to say no. There was also the time he'd gone through a phase of dressing like him. It had looked very flattering on the wiry teen. He'd loved the way John had worn dark ties that hugged his neck, hands in tailored trouser pockets, rectangular glasses, and that cocky grin well in place. It had more than flattered Archy he thought with a familiar ache. He rubbed his neck before glancing down again.

_Does he show you he cares?_

By nature John was a very tactile creature. Archy had remembered having to push away John often when he was a teenager. During that time, John had pushed boundaries with a vengeance. That was the first time he'd kissed the younger man too. New Year's, Archy had been leaning against the wall, watching as the boys and their girls had celebrated at the Speeler. It was unusual the party being there, but it had been that kind of year. Strange things, new things and wonderful lips. Johnny had had soft untrained lips, reckless and forceful. Fingers had gripped Archy's collar tightly and Archy found himself yielding into the kiss, tasting champagne and cancerstick flavoured tongue invade his mouth. His back was pressed against the wall and he could feel the hard muscles of John's chest and stomach, warm and making his insides flutter. When the younger man pulled away his dark cheeks were tinged pink a wide smile on his lips.

"It's official Uncle Arch. I'm eighteen," and those _attentive_ eyes, "and things are gonna change."

"Happy birthday, John,"Archy had gulped.

Next question. _On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your-_

"Sex life? _Christ_," Archy hissed. Archy folded the magazine closed for a second. He glanced around. Only four others in the waiting room. One, a disheveled businessman, was a asleep, the other, a stern-faced woman looked as if she were a statue, faced forward. The last occupants were the two nurses who were chatting behind the desk.

Archy opened the magazine and reread the question, his mouth silently pronouncing the words. Archy remembered once going to a restaurant with John and Len. It was rare but sometimes when a job went completely right Len liked to have company. It was during this particular event that John had decided he was feeling horny and wanted to do something about it. Archy had watched as the youth took out his phone, chewing gum offhandedly. Archy loved watching the way his lover's lips moved even in the most mundane things, which was why he focused his eyes on Lenny for most of the night.

His phone buzzed. He flicked it open.

_Kazi for a fuck? I want you._

Archy likes to remember the serious resistance to temptation of looking at John after reading the text. He thought it sort of made up for the easiness with which he excused himself from his seat.

Johnny liked to dominate. Johnny liked to submit. John wanted everything at once and everything one at a time. He stalked into the bathroom, glancing down and chuckling. Archy had waited a smile on his mouth at the sheer ridiculousness of being _coy_ in this situation. The stall opened and Archy didn't even let out a gasp before John's lips were against his own. Kissing John was an experience. John slid his tongue into his mouth languidly, stroking along the insides of his mouth. His fingers slid down, rubbing along the fabric of his shirt, playfully yanking his belt, not so playfully grabbing his erection through his pants.

"There's only so much of dear old dad's voice I can take, y'know." John stroked continuously, moving thumb and nimble fingers to his pants button. He uncatches it and Archy can't help the sharp inhale of breath. John smiles darkly to himself at the sound, Archy sees that look and knows immediately to expect trouble.

"As I was saying," John says stepping back to shrug off his hoody, take off his black A Clockwork Orange tshirt. It certainly was surreal as all that, inky fabric pulling to John's skin tight as he crouched down on the cheap tile. Arch had his hands braced on either side of the lorry, his hands curled and white against the walls. "...when I tire of dad's voice I get to...imaginin' things. Take for instance the sounds you make, when I'm givin' you really good head, you make different ones you know, like a dialect proper, really. And the way you say my name all helpless-like, I _love_ tha'."

John pulls down Archy's slacks,unzipping the pants with a finesse and greediness that only John could look perfect doing.

He tugs at the silk boxers, leaving his cock hard and aching and in John's face. It's extremely difficult to stand all of sudden and Archy slides down onto the toilet, sprawled. John's quickness leads him to being shoved backwards with strong hands, into the seat. Another hot hand grips his cock, squeezing and he grunted through his teeth. John pulled upwards, wringing sharp grunts that pulled at his stomach. His hands pressed into the wall as John leaned forward and licked the head with the flat of his tongue, all the while rubbing his thumb in slow encompassing circles.

Circles, tormenting circles around his unfettered erection. He could only babble uselessly, not having the ability to stop John long enough to force him down onto his raging problem. Johnny's other hand, undid his own dark grey jeans. He wasn't wearing anything underneath. He sucked on the head, devilishly slow, pulling as if he were drinking syrup. Faint little 'mmms' escaped Johnny's mouth as he began working himself in tandem with his attentive blow job.

And then, he was engulfed, on fire and completely senseless as John took him all the way down and moaned. The sensation had him begging for John incoherently into his sleeve. John started bobbing, catching a rhythm that was driving him insane. He opened his mouth and screamed curses into his sleeve, leaning back now sweaty and mortified that he was _so close to cumming_ in a men's room.

John smiled lazily around his cock, enjoying and savouring him, it seemed. Then he released him. Archy unclenched his teeth from his shirt with a boneless exhalation of air. He watched almost dreamily as the young rockstar pulled his own pants down completely. He got to his knees again and pulled something from the discarded hoody's pockets.

A condom, blue colored, of course and a small bottle of lube. The smug bastard had planned to get laid at the restaurant. John read the question in his eyes and shook his head.

"I knew at some point," he said as he ripped open the condom with his teeth, "I was going to talk you into fuckin' me. Jus' a matter of when, really."

"Not as if you met any resistance there John," Archy said slowly. He watched mesmerized and utterly frustrated as John positioned himself on all fours, his knees on his folded hoody. He had lubed fingers and pressed two into himself with a half-laugh half-moan. He rolled his body back and forth onto his hand, hips swaying.

"Fucking hell," he said in a hoarse voice. He felt dizzy watching, realized he wasn't breathing. He inhaled, inhaled again, closed his eyes and let himself listen to John moan softly and sweetly onto his own fingers. He heard the last little mewl and then he heard a heady silence that made him open his eyes once more.

John had been crawling on all fours, a look of pure sexual need on his face. This was something like how an addict felt when they saw the gear. It was how Johnny looked at it sometimes. Being looked at like that made Archy so horny all he saw was spots in his eyes. Johnny climbed into his lap, spreading himself with one hand. Then he sank down, a glorious prison of sultry, grasping muscle, that pulled Archy's cock in completely in less then a few seconds.

"Bloody hell, John," he gasped. His hands gripped Johnny's side, guiding the younger man as he sank down onto him in long luscious pulls. Archy lowered his hands taking a firm grip on John's ass, pulling the rockstar down as he drove upwards into him.

"Arch...Archy..."Johnny whispered. His head was now lolled back, along his left shoulder, dark eyes closed. All the while his own name was being chanted and mewled and deliciously mangled by the dark poet riding him. He moved Johnny faster, faster not caring if anyone came in, not caring how dirty he sounded as he told Johnny to get up and press his hands against the stall door. He grabbed slender hips, slamming into the young man repeatedly, stamping out a ferocious rhythm against Johnny's prostate.

"Ar-Arch! Arch_yyyy_..." Johnny grit through his teeth as he braced himself against the door. Archy was so close and the tease beneath him, clenched him tight, forcing him in deeper. More flashes of color in his eyes and it was so fucking hot and so hard to breathe. Archy remembered fondly the quickness with which he yanked Johnny back until their lips met, until they were both practically standing against the door. Archy came, growling against John's shoulder. His hand roughly jerked John's erection until he felt a steady pulse, heard John's steady whisper of, 'Fuck, fuck, _fuck_' as the musician went boneless in his arms.

Oh yes, their sex life was absolutely fucking brilliant, naughty more than half the time, but definitely over a 10.

"I'd say ten, eh, Uncle Arch," a familiar voice whispered in his ear. Archy didn't jump but gathered his wits internally before slowly closing the magazine and turning his head to see John, "but only coz there's nothin' higher than that in this book. However," the rockstar whispered, letting his breath tickle Archy's ear, "if you put down the fishwrap, I think we can make time for a fuck in the backseat of the limo. We can let Turbo take the long way 'ome."

Archy exhaled, rubbed his fingers down the bridge of his nose.

"Can I at least ask how the checkup went?"

"I get checked in next Monday," Johnny said calmly. Archy didn't miss the half-frightened look that crossed those dark eyes.

"Don't worry," he said standing, "we'll sort that out later. For now, I think I'm in the mood to ravish you."

"Good, coz I've got green condoms this time and strawberry flavored lube."

Archy gaped, shut his mouth with a click and looked over to see the statue of a woman still facing forward, but cheeks tinged a light pink.

Oh yes, more showing off.

And with that the two men left the clinic.


End file.
